Another voice from Hapa hell; the son of a racist white man who denies white privilege, and an Asian woman that wanted integration.
I need to know something. First, I am half asian(thai) and half caucasian. I live in Virginia and was raised here since I was ten. I went away to college when I was 18, but my life here in, where I was raised, has been a total hell. I look somewhat hispanic, some people even argue white with dark features. Anyway, my mother is thai and she met my father while he was in the army and brought her to the states. My father is a total piece of shit. He is selfish and doesn’t care for anyone but himself. Needless to say that is why they separated when they came here. My father was one of these ugly unattractive people who couldn’t find anyone to love him so he brought my mother here to rural eastern VA, his hometown. I can’t begin to run down the list of torments that the people here put us through. In a way my own mother was partly responsible for this because she isn’t very intelligent. Anyway both of my parents were inadequate caregivers, period. but I have a little respect for my mom so I am going to take her back to her country just to be civil. I’ve endured cross burnings, rock throwing, numerous fights, etc. I told my father even though he wasn’t living with us and he didn’t even care. He simply wanted to deny that we, me and my sisters, were not accepted. Just to give an indication of how bad it was, two years ago I wrote a letter to Montel Williams about my life and was contacted about being on the show and I subsequently declined. I’m not after publicity. I wanted only to reveal the truth and the evil that country hicks are capable of.
I wish you could see the place where I grew up. You said that you felt left out amony caucasian peers. I find that it’s natural for these white people to mingle with their own and I do to an extent forgive that, only until they begin mocking other cultures. Well just remember that those same people would not be as reveled if they were in our culture.
You would laugh at the people and the arrogance that you would encounter if had lived where I grew up . I’m not the kind of person to pick on appearance but considering the attitudes, small towns have this way of making mediocre looking people believe that they are the best looking people in the world. And then they judge other people who they consider unattractive based on whatever reason they can find. Snobs are found in all walks of life, but I’ve met more open people in the city who look ten times better than the people here. But I realize that that is characteristic of almost any small town that doesn’t allow competition. Don’t get me wrong I”m happy for what I have now. I have to let you know that I do blame my parents. Needless to say I don’t like my father, period. I do however have respect for my mother to a certain extent. She wasn’t very supportive of me and my sisters either.
My life here in VA has shaped my personality. I’m not a cold person by nature but life has made me a stern and hard nosed individual. Hatred is a part of my life now. I cannot deny that. It doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. I attended college and realized that not all caucasians are the same. Narrowmindedness breeds strongly in small rural areas.
Now I know how perpetrators of hate and violence are created. They’re made, not born that way
I I don’t know yet, but travelling will help me determine where I want to move to.
What place in the US do you recommend for people like me?