Many Hapas, repulsed at their parents’ dynamic and society’s hypocrisy about interracial relationships, feel that the best way to fight back is to simply expose what goes on within the home, so as remove any and all vestiges of a superiority complex our parents (and society) might have about, for example, “sticking it to white women and Asian men.” Since, many of us look like Asian men. After all – for society to blindly sexualize Asian women while making Asian men invisible while weaponizing biracials is not something most biracials will sit by and ignore; so, of course, it’s a good idea to fight back in any way we can, and one way is to expose the actual reason behind intermarriage. As viable a survival tactic as any.
Let me describe my parents, for example:
Last week my brother told me that “mom was so cruel to dad.”
This is a harsh reality check for white and non-Asian guys who think they’re fighting back against “feminists” or sticking it to “little” Asian guys, or whatever, because you failed with non-Asian women.
My mother forced my 6’2″, blue eyed dad to sleep on the couch for 14 years.
Never touched. Never said I loved you.
Constantly told me he smelled bad. Constantly insulted him. Told me she hated him because he did things like “eat an entire bag of chips at once,” or “ate sugar out of the bag,” made fun of him for being “scared of his own blood.” Hit him. Hit us. Threatened to kill me out of her anger at him. Called the cops on him. Her sister who also married and dates white men admitted to me they never loved their husbands / boyfriends. When on the phone with them, it’s always:”(Name), what’s wrong with you? Are you stupid?” Others straight up refuse to bring their “boyfriends” around because they’re “ugly.”
This summer I questioned my aunt about her choices and my mothers’ choices in marrying racist assholes. She told me that “it’s because we thought Chinese men were cheaters.” Makes sense; it’s easier to force a white man into a zombie marriage. Racist white guys see this and see a woman who won’t sleep with men of color. She won’t challenge his fragile ego.
My dad was already a racist who was intimidated by non-Asian women (he particularly hated black and Latin men, for obvious reasons), so he mistook self-hating Asian women being cutthroat, cruel, survivalists as being “traditional and chaste.” Being stuck and dominated in a loveless non-physical marriage made him lash out. That’s why you see so many white / non-Asian men making Asian jokes, or bashing on Asian men, or trying to act like the big man while being dominated at home (not sexually) by an Asian wife. Would they really want to admit that they couldn’t get a non-Asian woman and are stuck in a zombie marriage with a woman who insults them and won’t kiss them?
They go into it expecting a sex-doll who will give them the sex and affection they never got from white girls. They wind up being viscerally insulted, dominated, and forced into abstinence. That explains r/China, /r/CCJ2, /r/the_donald.
In my personal life, I will admit that self-hating Asian women (not ALL, but those who hate themselves to such a degree that they’re incapable of even the slightest tinge of love or positivity) are bar-none the cruelest, most vicious entities on the planet. Add the racist losers who take them as a way to “feel big” and you’ve got extremely damaged kids, tortured and manipulated by a racist white father and a self-hating Asian mother. Counting on the kids to just look like movie stars isn’t a good enough way to ensure their success.
If exposing this is a good way of not letting them get away with whatever it is about them that pissed us off, then fine.